Failing To Be Faithful

Every little girl treasures a secret. When her friend comes and whispers in her ear her biggest secret, that little girl is thrilled to know something that no one else in all the world may know! And then there are the secrets that she herself has. Maybe about a book she hid deep in her closet, that only she knows about. She is lucky if she could keep that secret to herself! But nevertheless, every little girl treasures a secret.

As you get older, secrets start to get more serious; the secrets others tell you and the secrets you yourself may have. Instead of hearing that your friend tagged so and so in hide and seek, you hear that she is now pregnant and he is the father. And instead of hiding a special book in your closet, you are hiding who you truly are. Often times, the secret that you are too ashamed to admit, is the secret that will eventually ruin you in some way or another. We hold in our deepest darkest secret because we don't want anyone to know about it. But what fools we are for thinking we could hide something and have no one find out. How could we forget that there is One who sees all things and knows all things about us? Your deepest darkest secret is so known to God. "What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight. What you have whispered to someone behind closed doors will be shouted from the rooftops" (Luke 12:3)
So why do we think we are so clever when we sin in our alone time? We will eventually be found out. We fail to be faithful every single day and every single day we need forgiveness.

Beautiful Bride

Isn't she beautiful? :) I've been missing her a lot lately.

Homesick- MercyMe

"You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now"

"But, April, what is true and real?"

(This is a long blog because it has an excerpt from a book in it. But still read it. Prayerfully the Lord will use the part from the book in your life somehow!)

My friend got me the book "Loving God With All Your Mind" by Elizabeth George for Christmas. Since the 23rd of December, my life, I believe, has changed. The Lord has revealed day after day new areas of my life where I need to love Him with all of my mind!

The theme verse for the first Six chapters is Philippians 4:8, which says "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if that is any virtue, if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things."

That verse alone is enough to change a life, but Elizabeth breaks down the very first part "Whatever things are true (or real)... meditate on these things." She speaks about different areas of our lives that we need to focus on what is true and real. One of them being with other people. The section is entitled "Playing Mind Game". Here is what it says:

"I confess that through the years I've been guilty of playing min games with people and second-guessing their motives. It's all too easy to wonder about what a person isn't saying or try to read between the lines of what he or she does say- 'He says he loves me, but I don't think he does' or 'She says there's nothing wrong, but I'm not so sure.'

Isn't it amazing how we can come up with very creative explanations for people's actions? For example, 'He's been grumpy lately, so he must be angry with me.' We can also draw conclusions about why people do what they do- 'She left me a message on my machine to call her. I must have done something wrong.' or 'I wonder what she wants from me now.' We can even apply this kind of thinking to what people do not do- 'She hasn't called me in a while. I must have done something to offend her.'

Well there's help and hope for our imaginations and for our relationships! Two principles from Scripture can help settle such mind games.

Understanding the Principle of Love
The First principle is based on 1 Corinthians 12, on the apostle Paul's words about love. As he writes to his friends, Paul notes that love 'thinks no evil' and 'believes all things' (verses 5 and 7). One day I realized that I was violating these two requirements for love whenever I questioned what another person said or did. My habit of second-guessing involved interpreting - and even distorting- the words and actions of others. When I tried to read things into a person's words and actions rather than accepting them at face value, I was essentially making that person a liar.

The solution? I need to stop my wild, speculative thoughts by asking myself, 'But, Elizabeth, what is true and real?' The answer to this questions then called me to believe what the other person said.'"


I know. I know. It's so long. But second-guessing people's actions, and words is something that I struggle with. It has become a hindrance and kept me from trusting and flourishing in my relationships with others. Reading this book has been life-changing. Now, I take people by their word and if I start to second-guess them, I ask "But, April, what is true and real?" and I leave it at that. No second-guessing or trying to read into what they are saying or doing! That causes so many mean thoughts towards others and can hinder you, undoubtedly. So if you ever find yourself trying to "read between the lines" of something someone has said or done, stop yourself and ask "But what is true and real?", and see how the Lord can change you! :)

Oh, and thank you for the Book! ;)

Blog

So tomorrow I am going over to my friends Kari and Bethany's house to bake and watch movies. I haven't hung out with Kari in quite some time so I am SUPER stoked to see her tomorrow!! :D (And Hopefuly Bethany, too!)



Today was a lazy day. I just did little things around the house and took a little nap. It was nice. :) I think I need to develop some sort of schedule of things I should do around the house each day because lazy days make me feel so unproductive. Lol!



Well, that's my blog.. Lol!



This is Kari and I at the Haven Ornament Decorating thing! Kari Johnson and the newest Johnson, April!!! ;) jk!

MmmMMmmmm :D

Today I decided to make something to bring to the dinner I am going to tonight. It was between fudge (My own family recipe) ;), English toffee, mocha cake, or coffee cake (two totally different baked goods by the way. One actually has coffee in it and the other is meant to be eaten with coffee! )

So I made the coffee cake because I really like coffee cake! It turned out pretty well and smells quite delicious!!! :)

Merry Christmas!!!!

Christmas Thanksgiving (Two Holidays In One!)

All day long I have been struggling with selfish thoughts about this Christmas season and after many attempts to get my attention, the Lord finally got through my stubborn walls. Why am I so concerned with how Christmas is going to be spent this year when I know that the reason we have Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ, only to eventually celebrate His death? He lived perfectly. I was thinking about it and His parents must have LOVED Him. Obeying everything they said... Man!!! The perfect child! ;) No, but seriously, how could even a child be perfect? He did it.

I wasn't going to do this, but I feel like I have to in order to get my point across.


America has made Christmas something that is so far from it's true meaning. I am not talking about the shopping and santa aspects, but the whole family-get-together shin-dig. Don't get me wrong, I do love it. But it has pretty much become "The reason for the season". My mom, as you know, died in June this year and I have been dreading Christmas ever since. Today I was so consumed with thoughts like "She won't be here" and "She made Christmas what it is.." that I lost sight of Jesus, on His throne. I know that most of you are thinking "It's understandable..." but what is there to understand about a hindrance? Focusing on how my mom is no longer with us has been blurring my view of who Christ is. He has SAVED HER! What is there to be upset about? No, I won't have her physically here with me tomorrow or ever again in this life, but the day I die, I will see her again and together we will worship the Lord Almighty in spirit and in truth!

I rejoice this Christmas. Jesus was born and died to save my mom. I am thankful!

Just For Kim

A couple weeks ago my friend Kim posted a blog about how her son was playing with the Nativity scene at their house. She took a picture of how he placed the people. You can read it here.

Well, my nephew was over at my house last night and he decided to play with our Nativity scene. So I decided to post a blog to show Kim his rearranging abilities. :)

Isn't it lovely? He wanted the wise men to keep Jesus warm... I think... haha!

Anyway, that's my blog! :)

Oh... haha!

Okay, so Bethany, you don't exactly remind me of Miss. Honey. I just saw in the beginning that she was all sweet to the kids. hahaha!

On another note. I am really excited for Christmas. Going to be with Kim and her Fam!! :D Super Stoked!

I hope everyone has a good Christmas!!!

Blessings!
:)

Matilda

I forgot how much I loved that movie! I'm watching it right now! :)

Miss Honey makes me think of you Bethany! If you have never seen the movie, you need to! :)

(That goes to ANYONE who has never seen it! It's lovely!)

Anywho! Have a blessed night! :D

Just Wanted To Say

I love Jesus.

The End.

If Being Cold Were Gangster....

I'd be the biggest G!!! ;)

Last night I went to dinner with my dad and his new friend. It was delish and the experience was slightly awkward. My sister showed up and ate Kona Pie with me (Compliments of Kendall).

After we were done, we were waiting for my dad outside and it was FREEZING!!! This picture proves it! My sister said "Make your best cold face!" This is my best cold face! :)

Oh how I love Islands. I forgot how truly yummy it is!!!! MMMmmmMmmm

Oh Happy Day!

Today was a lovely day!

Shopping. (Got AMAZING DEALS)
Chill-axed for a while at mi casa!
Then dinner at one of my fave restaurants. (Islands)


Now I am just surfing the net, blogging, and listening to awesome music (Thanks to a Miss. Kelly Lee [or Leigh] Leonard!!) :D


Life has been swell!!


Lets hope tomorrow is just as lovely! :)

There Are Answers To Prayers

"You take an ordinary day
And turn it into flowers like the month of May
Yes you do
You see all my pain
You cry over it for hours till I'm new again
Yes you do

You, you make me new..."

How do I even begin to describe how awe-struck I am? I don't... I can't... Jesus has amazed me once again. How does He do what He does in such a way?!

Lord, take all of me... I belong to YOU!

Imagine...

Imagine what you can do.


It's not a joke and child sex trafficking doesn't just happen in China and India, it's happening in our own streets as well. Imagine your 8 year old niece, sister, cousin... being sold into something as horrible as sex slavery. Being forced to sell her body for someone else's greed; being abused and violated by an older man for his own perverted enjoyment... Children are sold into brothels as young as 3 years old. It needs to stop. What are you going to do to help??

Visit the website to learn how you can help stop this wickedness.

You Said "I AM"

Earlier in the year I has prayed "Lord, break me." (Because I know that in a state of brokenness, I am made whole again in Him and I longed for His discipline and mending.) But I did it not knowing exactly what I was praying for. He answered my prayer anyway. He tore my world completely apart and took my mom home during the summer. I was (and am) more heart broken than I ever have been in my LIFE, but I wouldn't take back my prayer for anything. Yea, I miss my mom terribly, but Jesus made me a promise that "anyone who knows me, though he dies, yet he shall live." There will be times in our life that we may feel almost completely crushed, but the Lord has His hand there holding the stone from destroying us. I wouldn't trade this brokenness for comfort. Not now, not ever. He knows what is best and the best thing I know is Him. :)


Lyrics to a song I LOVE right now.


"When I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
'Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,' and You say 'I am.'”



I love it. When we are weak and unable to speak, we can call Him by name. He is Jesus, Savior, Comforter, Healer, Prince of Peace, Superhero, Heartache Healer, Secret keeper, Life Sustainer, Beloved, Abba Father... He is infinite!

I Caved In and Watched Twilight And Now....

"You're like my own personal brand of heroine."

I have decided that the day a guy tells me those words ( and the Lord confirms it of course) , I will know who it is I am supposed to marry. Hahaha! JK!






...But for reals. :)

Want Vs. Need; My Will Vs. His Will

Obedience.

Oh, yes. The one word that many cringe at hearing. Before I came to know the Lord, when I heard the word "Obedience", the first thing that would come to my mind was me reluctantly doing something for my parents. To me, it was a bad thing. Two words that would always make me feel rebellious were "discipline" and "obedience". But since coming to the Lord, those two words are what I long to embrace.

Many times I have done something and felt uneasy about it. I have had that lack of peace from the Lord and I know now that that lack of peace is the Lord telling me that I am disobeying Him. That is usually how I know whether or not I am supposed to be doing something. One particular time, I remember the Lord showing me that I was not supposed to go somewhere and it was for multiple days. The whole time I was there I felt out of place and completely horrible because I KNEW that the Lord didn't want me there. I ended up having to leave early because I couldn't stand disobeying the Lord any longer. Even though I left, I still had to pray the consequences for my disobedience. A friendship was severed. (That is a more dramatic case, but it's an example of what happens.)

Well, today the Lord told me what I was supposed to do and I made other plans anyway. I was going to go out to Yucaippa with my friend until like 4 and hangout. But as soon as I got in her car, a friend of mine called asking to hangout (Now this is usually the start of the Lord saying "stay home" I don't really know how to explain it... I guess it's just something that me and the Lord will understand.) And I knew that I was being disobedient. (I promise I'm not crazy... hahah just trust me.) I felt so horrible when I asked my other friend to turn around, but I couldn't go the whole day with the feeling of guilt. Well, now I am home and I am wondering what the Lord has planned for my day. I am trusting Him. I long to be obedient to HIM and no one else.

"So Samuel said: 'Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice...'"
-- 1 Samuel 15:22

Kind of a "I learned something new!" blog.... lol Feel free to comment.


(And just so you know, you don't have to have a blog to comment. ANYONE who reads this can comment.) :D

Times Are Changing

A Christmas spent, not alone, but with less people. Or I should say with one less person.

Yesterday I put up the Christmas decorations. The Tree, nativity scene, stockings, etc. And it was all done without my mom. She is usually the one who puts up the tree and tells us which ornaments go where, to make it look good. But this year, there was silence. No "move that ornament" or "we are NOT putting that decoration up" (Usually referring to some old dinky thing we made as kids). I didn't get to hear her laughing, or saying "I love you". It was different. And it's going to continue to be different. I know that the one thing I am going to miss this Christmas the MOST is sleeping in the living room on Christmas eve, with my mom walking out and me waking up to see her. But I would have missed that anyway. Maybe it's her telling me Merry Christmas and giving me a hug. I think I am going to miss everything about her. She was the one who made Christmas special. She always made sure we had plans and she always assured us that it is going to be a good Christmas every year, and every year she was right.

I guess it's inevitable. I am going to miss her no matter what. Everyone has that ONE Christmas wish, whether it be a phone, car, book, or whatever. Well, my ONE Christmas wish is to be able to spend it with my mom, and since I know it won't come true, then I just want to be happy. On Thanksgiving I spent the day with my family because I wanted them to be happy. But this one Christmas is more important. It means starting whole new traditions and changing everything. There is a time for everything under the sun. A time to end and a time to start over... It's time to start over.

Glorious Wind

With every gust of wind beating vehemently against the house, the walls creek and windows shutter.

Today is a delightfully windy day.

<33

Prayer

Sometimes when something is happening and you can do absolutely nothing in your power to help it, the only thing you can do is pray and know that God will hear you and will heal them.

Thank You, Jesus!

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
(Romans 8:37-39)

Ode to Cherry On Top

Cherry on Top is all I want
It's all that I can eat


Oh Cherry on Top is all I want
It's so good
so soothing
so sweet!


Oh Cherry on Top
You can save my day and satisfy my tummy
Oh please, I beg, come in my mouth,
you are so very yummy!!!!


I want Cherry On Top SOOOOOO bad. It's like the only thing I can eat right now. That and Jamba. My cheeks are so swollen it's crazy!!!! hahaha

Wisdom teeth are DUMB! Especially impacted ones.

Make my day. Let's go to Cherry On Top! :)

He Always Provides

The Lord of course. He always provides. You place things in His hands and He takes care of you. :)

I am thankful

Life Lesson

"It's a life lesson. You've got to maintain who YOU are despite what others, even your friends, are or are doing. Only allow the good influences and discard the rest."


One of the best bits of advice that I have ever gotten from a friend. And yes, it's something that I have yet to fully learn.

Why change who you are? Maintain who you are even if people, even your FRIENDS, are doing something different. If you have blond hair, blue eyes and weigh a certain weight, don't dye your hair, get contacts and lose weight to be like someone else. You are your own person and that's a wonderful thing.

Last night Pastor Steve gave a message and in the beginning he was talking about how we are uniquely made by the King and that we should, in no way, try and change that. I agree. I think this is a lesson that MOST teenage girls need to learn. Trying to change who you are to be someone you're not isn't the way to go. The Lord made you the way you are and you ARE beautiful!!! Not only that, but you are also creative, talented and gifted in ways that other's might not be. You have that to your advantage. Don't try to be talented in an area you're not so familiar with and ignore the things that you already know. If you are good at soccer, don't drop the sport that you are so advanced with and try to become a cheerleader. Stick with what you know and embrace what you have been blessed with. The Lord gave you what He did for a reason. I know that people say that all of the time, but it's true. If you have the gift of exhortation, then the Lord will be able to use you to exhort brothers and sisters in Christ. But if you don't have the gift of exhortation and you say "I want that gift" chances are, it won't be the Lord working through you, but you trying to FORCE that gift on yourself. But you can't FORCE a gift. It is given to you. I guess what I am trying to say is don't try to become something that you're not because the Lord wants to use YOU, not a cheap copy of someone else.

"You've got to maintain who YOU are despite what others, even your friends, are or are doing."

Our Great God!

Something I've learned and am SO thankful for.


Don't go by what YOU think is best in any situation. Always give it to the Lord. He really DOES know what He is doing! :)


"Trust in the Lord will all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
-- Proverbs 3:5-6


Our God is greater than anything we face!!

Luke 7:36-50

At Your Feet -- Natalie Grant

She brought You oil, the purest gift she had

You washed her soul with her tears

Though more than a thousand years have passed

I still weep at how much that woman's just like me

And how much I want to be

At Your feet

Where I feel Your Spirit cover me

And the darkest of my sins, they are forgiven

What would You ask of me,

I'd give up everything

Just so I can be at Your feet

I know one day I will open up my eyes

To the wonders of Heaven foretold

And I'll see that glorious mansion on high

But, I'll be content just to see Your face

If I can just find my place

At Your feet

Where I feel Your Spirit cover me

And the darkest of my sins, they are forgiven

What would You ask of me,

I'd give up everything

Just so I can be at Your feet

"And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil."
-- Luke 7:37-39

In Christ Alone

In Chirst Alone-- Phillips Craig and Dean

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory In the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."
-- 1 Corinthians 15:10

Oh Fooey!

Haha! Funny story. I have 4 essays and 42 assignments to do by tomorrow morning... We'll see how this works out! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Maybe procrastination wasn't such a great idea after all...