Thursday, December 11, 2008

Want Vs. Need; My Will Vs. His Will


Oh, yes. The one word that many cringe at hearing. Before I came to know the Lord, when I heard the word "Obedience", the first thing that would come to my mind was me reluctantly doing something for my parents. To me, it was a bad thing. Two words that would always make me feel rebellious were "discipline" and "obedience". But since coming to the Lord, those two words are what I long to embrace.

Many times I have done something and felt uneasy about it. I have had that lack of peace from the Lord and I know now that that lack of peace is the Lord telling me that I am disobeying Him. That is usually how I know whether or not I am supposed to be doing something. One particular time, I remember the Lord showing me that I was not supposed to go somewhere and it was for multiple days. The whole time I was there I felt out of place and completely horrible because I KNEW that the Lord didn't want me there. I ended up having to leave early because I couldn't stand disobeying the Lord any longer. Even though I left, I still had to pray the consequences for my disobedience. A friendship was severed. (That is a more dramatic case, but it's an example of what happens.)

Well, today the Lord told me what I was supposed to do and I made other plans anyway. I was going to go out to Yucaippa with my friend until like 4 and hangout. But as soon as I got in her car, a friend of mine called asking to hangout (Now this is usually the start of the Lord saying "stay home" I don't really know how to explain it... I guess it's just something that me and the Lord will understand.) And I knew that I was being disobedient. (I promise I'm not crazy... hahah just trust me.) I felt so horrible when I asked my other friend to turn around, but I couldn't go the whole day with the feeling of guilt. Well, now I am home and I am wondering what the Lord has planned for my day. I am trusting Him. I long to be obedient to HIM and no one else.

"So Samuel said: 'Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice...'"
-- 1 Samuel 15:22

Kind of a "I learned something new!" blog.... lol Feel free to comment.

(And just so you know, you don't have to have a blog to comment. ANYONE who reads this can comment.) :D

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

so here i am and i'm reading.
i know how it feels only i'm not always sure what exactly God wants. i mean if i hesitate and pray what to do if i have two choices, i never feel like i've heard right from Him so in the end i do what i think i should do and only pray to Him to be in full control of all my actions and everything around me... i wish i heard Him clearer you know. maybe something's just wrong with me :(