I am so thankful. I feel almost 100% better. :) I don't ache anymore and my stomach has settled down. When I eat things, it gets a little upset, but I can deal with that as long as I don't have to go through the torture of having this flu all over again! haha :)
The Lord is good, ALWAYS and He healed me in time to go to church. :)
"When the Lord ceases to be good, I will cease to give thanks. But that is never going to happen, so forever I will give thanks unto God!"
I have been doing better since about 11 this morning. My body is all achey and weak, but my stomach is feeing better. Praise God, because I don't think I could handle that pain any longer. I am just restless and my skin is super sensitive. I am thankful that I am feeling better, however. Thank you to everyone who was praying for me and who helped me out. I am SO thankful for you! The Lord has blessed me even in this time of being sick.
One thing I know, is to never hug, kiss, or sleep next to a baby who is sick with the flu, or else you too will get the flu.
What is funny is that my entire family has the flu right now! Haha! Me, my sister and her boyfriend, my dad, and my grandma. haha! Oh geez. :)
I have not been this sick for a long time. In fact, I don't think I have EVER been this sick. I don't know if it is the flu, or food poisoning, but I have been having the worst stomach pains and I have thrown up twice. I know, 2 times sound little, but my body wouldn't LET me get it out. I have been up every 30 minutes all night long. I passed out a few times. What is up with that? Is that the flu? I don't know. I tried calling EVERYONE last night for help on how to deal with this but no one would answer. Then Chelley answered and suggested I take a warm bath and then go try and sleep. (Thanks, Chelley Belley Ka-nelley) The bath was comforting, but I kept passing out in it. So for my own safety, I had to get out. I reluctantly got dressed and stumbled to the couch where I somehow managed to feel fine enough to FALL asleep. I was asleep maybe 2 hours and I woke up again because of my stomach pains.
Seriously, I would never wish this on anyone. It is horrible. I was so miserable last night. I am feeling stable enough to sit here and write this blog for 10 minutes, so I am thankful for that. Plus, I can keep water down, which is what I am craving because I feel SO dehydrated. So praise Jesus!!!! :)
The Lord knows and I am so thankful. Please pray that this flu, or whatever it is, leaves my body completely. Thank you, so much!!
So, my sister and I went shopping today at the mall. No, we didn't get there for the doorbuster prices, but the majority of the stores were still having sales until 1. Like American Eagle. :) I went there to get one thing and I got it, ON SALE!! :)
Today was good, now I'm tired. Time for dinner! I'm starved!
Why does it take a holiday like Thanksgiving to make us think of the things we are thankful?
Why does it take a holiday like Christmas to make us see how much we should be giving?
Holidays seem to give everyone a certain spiritual/"good person" high and then a few weeks later, everyone is back to being exactly how they were before. Which can only mean that the "change" was because of feelings. Here is what I mean. When we live by feelings, we do things that we feel like doing at the moment, but the next moment, we are found doing something completely opposite. What I mean is that when we live by feelings, we are wish-washy. We go back and forth from one way of living to another. So during the holidays, people feel like being nice and loving and giving and thankful, but when the season is over and all the decorations are put away, the feelings of "Glad tidings of great joy" flee and people are left feeling selfish, hateful, thankless , and mean. Why is it that way? Why does it take holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas to give the Lord what He deserves? Are we not supposed to be bringing Him glory; to be giving Him thanks, ALL of the days of our lives? Living by feelings produces no integrity and no fruit. Living a life glorifying to God doesn't mean worshipping Him when you feel like it. Living a life glorifying to God doesn't mean serving Him when you feel like it. Living a life glorifying to the Lord means living EVERY day in submission to Him. Doing what He commands and asks of you, even if you don't feel like it. That is obedience. We need to be obedient to bring Him thanks and glory, not only on days like today, but every day that we live. He has given us breath every day, has He not? That is more than enough to be thankful for.
To Him be the glory and the power, forever and ever. Amen!
The Lord's word. His forgiveness and grace. Friends. Friends who are more like family. Food. Shelter. The beauty of creation. His love. Comfort. Understanding. Wisdom. Discernment.
What I am most thankful for is the Lord. None of these things would even be accessible to me without Him. Everything belongs to Him. Everything on earth and in heaven. I would not have anything if I did not have Him. I am thankful for Him. Not His blessings. Him. He is perfect, holy, pure, just, gracious, merciful... the list goes on and on.
"Your love is deep, Your love is wide, Your love is great, Your love is high. Your love is all we ever need. Your love is all we ever need."
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." -- Philippians 4:8,9
"... these do, and the God of peace WILL be with you."
The Lord showed me today that I really do need to be careful about the information I give out about myself and then confirmed it through an email from a friend. So, I am going to go through my blogs and delete any that could give away too much information about myself. Thank you, Jesus!! :)
Yet another bad night of sleep. What is up with my dreams? Do they always have to be horrible? Man!! haha
On a better note, I am going to Oak Glen tomorrow! Super Duper excited!!! :D
Here's what you gotta do. Write in a comment to this blog the worst dream you've ever had!
Here is one of the worst dreams I have had lately.. but it's not the WORST worst. I wouldn't tell that one.. it's too personal! hahaha but it's still a bad dream! :)
So about a week ago, I had a dream that my friend Bethany was at my house and my room was A MESS! Well, she had told me to clean it and I said no and she got really really mad at me and wouldn't talk to me. We start walking out of my house and I asked her if I could have a ride home (Which is funny because I was already home. But it makes sense that I asked her because she always gives me a ride home. I am so thankful for her!) Anyway she ends up giving me a ride home, but she wouldn't talk to me. That's right. The silent treatment. There is no worse way to make someone feel bad! hahaha (But of course, it was a dream) lol
I know that dream sounds SOOOOO lame, but when you are having a nightmare, the feelings are always intensified. And of course this is nothing like the scary dreams I have been having this last week, just the only one I am willing to explain! haha
So what is your scariest dream (That you're willing to share) :)
OH and for all of you non-bloggers out there that read my blog, you can still comment. Not just on this blog, but on all of the ones I have posted. So you can participate in my dream discussion as well. :)
It was so bad it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't ever want it to come true. It felt so real. I hate dreams like that. Ones that feel so real that when you wake up you have to force your mind back to reality. I woke up breathless.
I don't ever want to have a dream like that again. It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have happened. Ughh I hate nightmares!
"Therefore, if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of man. And being found in the appearance of man, He humbled Himself and became obedient, to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
Therefore, God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and those on earth, and those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." --Philippians 2:1-11
Read this and re-read this. Meditate on what is it really saying.
Something happened today that needed to happen for 2 years. I feel like I have fully gotten rid of my old self now. Nothing that I had before I knew the Lord is with me any longer. It is like everything is really new like the word says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17) My old man has finally passed away and a weight I have been carrying for so long has been lifted. It really isn't that big of a deal to anyone else but me and Jesus, but a big deal nonetheless. I am truly amazed by God. Its kind of like when you have something in your eye and you move it around a little and the blur goes away, but it comes back, so you move it around etc. Until finally, you just man up and stick your finger in your eye and get it out. It hurt, but now you don't have something blurring your vision. In the same way, this thing was something that was keeping me from fully committing to God. I had been pushing this away, but it always came back; a piece of my old self that I wasn't willing to let go of. I wasn't willing to humble myself and just get it out. But with God's strength, I was able to finally let go. It was hard, but the outcome was worth it. I would have never thought that this was such a hindrance, but it was. It was the one thing that needed to be given to God the moment I came to know Him. Now its over. He has given me new life. I am fully His.
So, I was going to wake up and do homework and clean all day, but I had a change in plans. Usually when things don't go as planned, I get bummed out, but this plan was better. I got to hangout with the sister. We went to Victoria Gardens. YAY!!! (Oh, Kim! They have a store there called "Thomas Station" and its ALL Thomas the Tank Engine stuff! Just in case you want to take Elisha ;) )
We went to Pinkberry (of course), then we went to Anthropology (The greatest store ever!), The Apple Store (That's a given), and lots of other stores!! :) I know where I'm going when I get myfirst paycheck... or I should say IF I get my first paycheck. ;) jk.
Today was good. Now I am going to attempt to do 2 weeks of homework in 16 hours!! :D
I need more discipline when it comes to these things.. Oh man!! haha
Here is me and my sister with our YUMMY frozen yogurt. (She got original [plain tart] with just capt'n crunch cereal and I got original with strawberries and capt'n crunch cereal [ my fave!])
She was so perfect. I miss her hugs so much. I really wish we could be sitting here hugging instead of just me sitting here writing this. I would give up anything but Jesus to have her back. Man, I miss her. So beautiful. So perfect. That was my mom.
Before we help people, what is the first thing we consider? "Is this going to help me or hurt me?" or something along those lines. We consider ourselves when the situation really has nothing to do with us. Or maybe that's just me. I am a selfish person. I tend to draw all attention to me and at the worst possible moments, I bring attention on me by asking a stupid question or saying something about a situation that happened with me. When my friend's friend passed away, I had no idea, but I brought the attention to me because I thought that something she was talking about was about me. But needless to say, it wasn't. I always think "They are mad at me" or "They did that because of me" It's always me. Me. Me. You could swear I thought the world revolved around me. I know that it doesn't. My selfishness is overbearing though. It's like a disease without a cure. I know you are thinking "I'm not that selfish.. there is something you can do." and yea, there is, but I say that because since last November I have been aware of the fact that I am selfish and the Lord has been working on it since then and I am still the same. I hate that I am this way. I don't want to say those selfish things at the wrong moments anymore. What do I do? I pray.
"Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also to the interests of others." -- Philippians 2:4
Infatuated, obsessed, enthralled, captivated. All of these words accurately describe me at the very moment. What might a girl be infatuated with? What might a girl who love news be obsessed with? What might a girl who loves news and well grounded reporters be enthralled by? What might a girl who loves news, well grounded reporters and humorous TV personalities be captivated by? Two Words, Anderson Cooper. I know, I know. He's on CNN not FoxNews. Here's today's stop story, I'm converting from FoxNews to CNN, and it's all because of Anderson.
Of course, I am still a devout Shepard Smith fan, and I am not going to completely neglect FoxNews, but the time has come that I open my mind and experience new things. I think it's time I see other people... It's not them... well okay, it IS them. I want so much more than just "Fair + Balanced" and they don't have it. So it's time I give CNN a shot...
So, I am going to CBU for their twenty-four hour event for high school seniors called 24. Original, huh? ;) jk. I am going with an open mind... like it says on the "What to Bring" list. ;) I am ready to be pulled out of my comfort zone. You might be asking how being at CBU is OUT of my comfort zone. It's simple, when I go to CBU, I visit friends of mine, but I am not going to know anyone tonight. I am praying that the Lord uses me. He will be with me, so I don't have to be uncomfortable. I rely on Him. It's THAT simple. :)
I don't understand why God is still so gracious when I am so unfaithful. He pours out His love on me when I have taken a step towards the world. He still holds me when I go off and forget about Him. Why does He want me? I am nothing. I am of no worth. But He sent His son to be killed for MY (and others') sake. Worthy is HE of every praise. Worthy is HE because of His overwhelming love for His enemies. He loves me when I let Him down... why? There are far better and greater things out there to love than me. He is so holy and pure, so perfect. Lord, thank You for loving such a filthy child. I know that I don't deserve You and I don't deserve Your forgiveness. I have asked so many times for it and each time, You are faithful to forgive me... for that alone, I owe You everything.
A reputation. Everyone has one and whether it's good or bad, people will hold us accountable to the standard we have set for ourselves. Let me explain a little more. If you hold the door open for people, smile at others as they walk by, and rush to help someone who has dropped their books, you have a "good" reputation according to others. If you gossip about people you claim to be your friends, spend TOO much time with guys that have NO self-control, and wear skimpy clothing, you have a "bad" reputation according to others. A reputation is the estimation in which a person is held by the community or public.
This is something that I am trying to escape. I don't want to have a reputation. I don't want people expecting me to be one way or another. I want people to see nothing in me. Nothing of myself anyway. In the book of Philippians in the bible, Paul writes in Chapter 2 verses 5-7
"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men."
Jesus is God. But when He came to this earth, there was nothing about Him that made Him seem royal or powerful in anyway. He came to this earth in the form of a man, and in doing so, humbled Himself. Now listen. Jesus, who is GOD humbled Himself and became a bondservant, who obeyed even to DEATH. JESUS! We are merely men and yet we lift ourselves up onto a pedestal, believing we deserve so much. What have we done that deserve any kind of praise or glory? What are we so sure that we deserve things for? Nothing. We have done nothing without God. But Jesus, He created the universe; He created time and everything we see. He created you. If you painted a beautiful picture and displayed it for people to see, they wouldn't go up the paint brush and say... "Wow... you created such a beautiful picture," because a paintbrush can do nothing by it's self. It needs you to guide it across the canvas. In the same way, we are like the paintbrush. We can't take credit for what God did through us. So if Jesus, who created all things, lived with no reputation, why don't we?
How can we get rid of reputations? Follow Jesus' example. "but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."(vs. 2:7,8) Why would He humble Himself while being found in appearance as a man unless it is man who should humble himself? I don't think it was a coincidence that the bible says that. It is our place to humble ourselves because we are merely men. It is our place to be obedient to God because HE is our Maker! We owe everything to Him.
I am trying to explain how to get rid of reputation but to be honest with you, I haven't fully figured it out. I don't want anything but Jesus to rule my life. Not clothes, friends, knowledge, beauty, family, material things, money, kindness, "good works".... the list can go on forever. I don't want to be associated with anything of this world. Just Jesus. If I can be known only as "The girl who loves Jesus" and nothing more, then glory be to God alone.
Realize. You can't do it on your own. Realize. Nothing is worth turning from Him. Realize. If you think that people owe you even a smile, you're wrong. Realize. Beauty isn't skin deep. Realize. Jesus is the only Way, Truth, and Life. Realize. She is really gone. Realize. Friends are there to help you, not do things for you. Realize. Its only when you take your eyes off of yourself, that you are able to serve God fully. Realize. Only GOD can make all things happen.
Some things I have realized lately. NOTHING is possible without Christ. Without Him I am truly worthless. I am full of no good thing. With Him I am able to do good.
"And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith." -- Galatians 6:9,10
"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men." Philippians 2:3-7
"This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."-- Psalm 118:24
Today would have been my mom's 51st birthday. I am crushed to not be able to spend it with her. Last year she had her birthday party on a Sunday and I didn't want to go to it because I would have rather gone to church. But I stayed and I enjoyed it. I would give up going to church in a heartbeat if that meant spending today with my mom. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I would give up following God. Just that I would give up one night of doing something for me, to do something for her. I miss her more than I ever have. But I know that she is before the King, face to face. I can't wait to go to heaven and worship Him with her one day! :)
Here is my favorite picture of my mom. :)
My all-time favorite memory of my mom. Here is it.
A few days after my 17th birthday (this year) I went over to my mom's house to celebrate it. She made me dinner, and a heart shaped white cake with strawberry frosting (My fave). While dinner was cooking and the cake was baking, my mom went outside for a minute and then came back in with a budding rose. It was a deep pink color, with a short green stem. She looks me in the eyes and says "You have always been my little rosebud, but now you're turning into a beautiful rose. I love you. Happy Birthday" And she gave me a big hug. I don't want or need to explain why this is my favorite, but it is. I miss her today. I'll miss her tomorrow, and I missed her yesterday. I don't want to forget her. I can only really remember her laugh, but any bit of her is a blessing to remember. :) Be blessed today. And tell your mom you love her. She may not seem like the the greatest mom, but once shes gone, it's over. You don't have forever to hug her or to hear her motherly advice. Take advantage of the time you have with her. Show her the love of Jesus.
"This is the day that the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and be glad in it."-- Psalm 118:24
My mom made the BEST chili. Always cooked to perfection! One bite would make your ears would get hot, but at the same time, it was perfectly sweet. OH! And the corn bread!! :)
I love this picture of my mom. She looks so absolutely happy. I miss her so much... I can't believe tomorrow is her birthday. Do you still recognize someone's birthday after their death? Hmm Something to ask God. I know that she was so excited for this election. Had she been able to see the outcome, she would be thrilled. She was an Obama supporter. She always had this sort of appreciation for minority groups, because of their struggles and what-not.
This picture of my mom is my all time favorite. :) It was taken the day that my nephew was born. She is so happy in this picture. So beautiful.
These last 4 1/2 months have been the craziest roller coaster ride. One moment I am somewhat alright with her dying and the next I am a complete mess missing her. I would have to say, however, that the good moments far out-weigh the bad.
Another favorite memory is this. When I was little, like ages 5-8, I could not fall asleep without someone laying with me. So my mom would always lay with me while I was falling asleep. We would lay there talking and saying how much we love each other. We would say thing like "I love you all the way to the moon!" and "I love you all the way to China!" But my absolute favorite one, even though it made no sense, was "I love you all that way to the big bang!" Now, let me explain. When I was little, I didn't know what the big bang was. I thought that it was a HUGE star in the sky and that it was miles and miles and miles away so I would say I love you to the big bang because in my little mind, that was A LOT of love. :)
And that still stands. Momma, I love you all the way to the big bang! :)
I put this up, simply to show that my mom was a straight up G! I mean, look at her. Gangster looking face. She's throwin' up the sideways peace sign... Total G!
I love my mommy. I am going to be posting blogs about her until Wednesday. Reason being because her birthday is on Wednesday November 5th. Just remembering her. :)
HAHA!! This makes me think of her Mexican accent. Whenever she would talk to Mexicans, she automatically got a slight Mexican accent. My sister and I always used to poke fun at her, but I am sure she knew we were only joking. I love it. I love her and miss her tons!!
I have mentioned before my passion for politics. I wouldn't say that I am a political buff, but I am aware of what is going on in this election right now. I know that it's been said "Two things not to bring up in a casual conversation are politics and religion." And I can see why. I was watching Sarah Palin speaking in Florida for the campaign this morning and my grandma was at my house helping my dad do something. Now, you must know that my grandma is all for Barack Obama. So every time Sarah would say something about Obama, my grandma would FLIP OUT! She got so angry saying things like "Yea, you're gonna go to hell for telling so many lies!" or "You know... I am surprised that a mother who claims to be so Christian would say something like that." I was irritated that my grandma got so upset over what Sarah Palin was saying. I had to remind her that BOTH sides are saying things that make the other side look bad. It's called campaigning. I like having calm, reasonable conversations with people about the problems in our economy, and who they believe will be able to fix it. But I get irritated when people get all defensive about it. Be mature and don't freak out. Just breathe! :)