Compromise. I used to hear this word and think "Compromise is when you are out with your boyfriend and you purposed in your heart not to kiss him, but temptation got the best of you and you think 'It's just a kiss... It's not a sin.' and then you do it." or something along those lines, but Compromise has been given and new definition to me recently.
As most of you know, my mom died almost 8 months ago. It seems like it's been so long since I've seen her, but it also seems like only yesterday. These last 8 months have been such a blur. I miss her, there is no denying it. I wish things didn't end the way they did, but I can't control life. Grief is something that I have come to know all too well. It isn't bad to miss someone and it isn't bad to cry about it either, but there is such thing as grieving in the wrong way, as I have learned. Here is how I see it, there are two ways to live after losing a loved one. One way would be to cry about it to the Lord and find comfort in Him and encouragement from friends (the right way), and the other way is to dwell on it and use it as, almost an excuse, to keep you from living the life that God wants you to live (The wrong way; which really only hurts you and your walk with the Lord.). I have been guilty of the grieving her death the wrong way. I haven't been using it to get attention with people, I hardly even mention with others, but whenever the Lord wants me to do something and a memory of my mom pops up, I think "God will understand, I mean, I just lost my mom... He can't expect me to do that thing when I am cry about my mom." There is that compromise I was talking about. As a Christian, I long to live a life of absolutely NO compromise; nothing to keep me from doing the will of the One who knows all things and this has become an area of compromise in my life.
This is really a tough thing to understand, though I understand much of it now, I am still trying to fully comprehend that, even dwelling on the death of a loved one (my mom), can be compromising. Dwelling on it could cause distance and dissension in my walk with the Lord. There is nothing wrong with missing her and there is definitely nothing wrong with being sad about it, but when I start to dwell on it and it affects my obedience to God, I know that I am compromising. I want nothing to hinder my obedience to Him. I want a life of NO compromise. That means, if I am in the middle of thinking of my mom and the Lord tells me to do something, rejecting His command is not an option. I need to stop and obey. He is my Rock and my fortress. My grief is much, but I can't let that compromise my obedience to the Lord.
"... Be faithful unto death and I will give you the crown of life." Revelations 2:10
5 months ago